[Posted Oct 9, 2008]

You know it's over when your house is sawn in half

A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami

Splitting up a marriage

Telegraph Oct 8, 2008 - THOMAS BELL

Married Cambodian couple saw home in half after separation

The wife will stay put with the upright half while her husband has carried away his half to start again on the other side of the village.

Neighbours said the couple saw the radical action as the most cost-efficient and equitable way to avoid each other in a country where divorce lawyers can be expensive.

Vorng Morn, the headman of Cheach village, fifty miles from the capital Phnom Penh, told the Phnom Penh Post: "We tried to persuade them to think clearly before they did this because they had been married for nearly 40 years. But they did not listen."

Mr Morn refused to identify the couple to protect their privacy.

The impetus for the break up was the husband's alleged malingering, or the wife's alleged lack of care, depending on your point of view. go to story

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Bodily concept of life diametrically opposed to spiritual life

The Greatest Barrier to Spiritual Life A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami

So long this conception of life will exist, that "I am this body, and anyone who is related with this body, they are my own men, kinsmen, relatives..." This conception of life is the greatest barrier for advancing in spiritual consciousness. Therefore the Vedic civilization is so planned that one has to give up this rascal "own men" conception. That is the vairagya. It is called vairagya. Jñana-vairagya. Two things required in human life: knowledge and vairagya, detachment. The attachment increases. First of all, it increases. Pumsah striya mithuni-bhavam etam. This whole world is based on sex life. A man has got attraction for woman; a woman has got attraction for man. This is nature's bondage. Shackle. And when they are actually united, either by the father, mother, or by their own way, that shackle, that attraction, increases. Pumsah striya mithuni-bhavam etam tayor mitho hrdaya-granthim ahuh. Hrdaya-granthim. Knot in the heart. "She is my wife." "He is my husband." Of course, now that knot is very slack. Formerly it was very strong because the woman was not allowed to mix with any other man, and the man was also not allowed with any other woman. This intermingling has slackened even that knot, hrdaya-granthim. Therefore, even trifle cases, quarrel between husband and wife, there is divorce. Because that unity is not very strong now. That is good. Some way or other, it is slackened. So this "own-menship" comes from bodily concept of life. more

A choice between forced separation or voluntary retirement

excerpt from Srimad-Bhagavatam 5.13.8, purport

The ambitious conditioned soul wants to be very happy in this material world with his family, but he is compared to a traveler in the forest who desires to climb a hill full of thorns and small stones. As stated in the previous verse, the happiness derived from society, friendship and love is like a drop of water in the scorching heat of the desert. One may want to become very great and powerful in society, but this is like attempting to climb a hill full of thorns. Srila Vishvanatha Chakravarti Thakur compares one's family to high mountains. Becoming happy in their association is like a hungry man's endeavoring to climb a mountain full of thorns. Almost 99.9 percent of the population is unhappy in family life, despite all the attempts being made to satisfy the family members. In the Western countries, due to the dissatisfaction of the family members, there is actually no family life. There are many cases of divorce, and out of dissatisfaction, the children leave the protection of their parents. Especially in this age of Kali, family life is being reduced. Everyone is becoming self-centered because that is the law of nature. Even if one has sufficient money to maintain a family, the situation is such that no one is happy in family life. Consequently according to the varnashram institution, one has to retire from family life in middle age: pañchashordhvam vanam vrajet. One should voluntarily retire from family life at the age of fifty and go to Vrindavana or a forest. This is recommended by Srila Prahlada Maharaja (SB 7.5.5):

tat sadhu manye 'sura-varya dehinam
sada samudvigna-dhiyam asad-grahat
hitvatma-patam griham andha-kupam
vanam gato yad dharim ashrayeta

There is no benefit in transferring from one forest to another. One must go to the Vrindavana forest and take shelter of Govinda. That will make one happy. The International Society for Krishna Consciousness is therefore constructing a Krishna-Balarama temple to invite its members as well as outsiders to come and live peacefully in a spiritual atmosphere. That will help one become elevated to the transcendental world and return home, back to Godhead. Another sentence in this verse is very significant: kautumbikah krudhyati vai janaya. When one's mind is disturbed in so many ways, he satisfies himself by becoming angry with his poor wife and children. The wife and children are naturally dependent on the father, but the father, being unable to maintain the family properly, becomes mentally distressed and therefore chastises the family members unnecessarily. As stated in Srimad-Bhagavatam (12.2.9): acchinna-dara-dravina yasyanti giri-kananam. Being disgusted with family life, one separates from the family by divorce or some other means. If one has to separate, why not separate willingly? Systematic separation is better than forced separation. Forced separation cannot make anyone happy, but by mutual consent or by the Vedic arrangement one must separate from his family affairs at a certain age and fully depend on Krishna. This makes one's life successful.

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