Who is this person I knew to be my son, my brother?

Family Strangers

"Who is my Father? Who is my Mother?" Hansadutta das

In another part of Srimad-Bhagavatam it is said that just as travelers at an inn meet for some time during their meal and when their meals are finished again go their separate ways, similarly, living entities are brought together by the force of karma in family relationships, communal relationships and national relationships and then are again separated by time. All the relationships in connection with this temporary material body are also temporary. Our permanent identity is in connection with Krishna. Every living entity is an eternal servant of God, but in the material condition we have rejected that eternal relationship. We are falsely trying to establish our own independent relationships of master and servant. This is called maya (illusion). Although it exists for some time, the body is ultimately temporary, and therefore it is known as maya (unreal). more

In the material world many living entities come into contact with one another and, increasing their attachment to a particular type of body, become related as father, husband, mother, wife, etc. Actually every living entity is a separate individual being, and it is because of his contact with matter that he comes together with other bodies and becomes falsely related. False bodies create various associations in the name of family, community, society and nationality. Actually every living entity is part and parcel of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, but the living entities are overly engrossed in the material body. The Supreme Personality of Godhead, Krishna, appears and gives instructions in the form of Bhagavad-gita and Vedic literatures. The Supreme Lord gives these instructions because He is the eternal friend of the living entities. His instructions are important because by them the living entity can obtain liberation from bodily engagement. As water passes down a river, many straws and grasses are carried from the shore. These straws and grasses come together in the river's current, but when the waves toss this way and that, they are separated and carried somewhere else. Similarly, the innumerable living entities within this material world are being carried by the waves of material nature. Sometimes the waves bring them together, and they form friendships and relate to one another on a bodily basis of family, community or nationality. Eventually they are thrown out of association by the waves of material nature. This process has been going on since the creation of material nature. In this regard, Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura sings:

miche mayara vashe, yaccha bhese',
khaccha habudubu, bhai
jiva krishna-dasa, ei vishvasa,
karle ta' ara duhkha nai

"My dear living entities, you are being carried away by the waves of material nature. Sometimes you are on the surface, sometimes you are being drowned. In this way your eternal life is being spoiled. If you simply catch hold of Krishna and take shelter of His lotus feet, you will once again get free from all the miserable material conditions."

In this verse the words suhrit ("well-wisher") and tava ("your") are very significant. One's so-called husband, relative, son, father or whatever cannot actually be a well-wisher. The only actual well-wisher is Krishna Himself, as Krishna confirms in Bhagavad-gita (5.29): suhridam sarva-bhutanam. Society, friendship, love and well-wishers are all simply results of being packed in different bodies. One should know this well and try to get out of this bodily encagement into which one is thrown birth after birth. One should take shelter of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Krishna, and return home, back to Godhead.

Strong family affection
purport to Srimad-Bhagavatam 5.14.17

Due to ignorance of the real existence of the Lord, the conditioned soul imagines many things. Influenced by fruitive activity, he comes together with his relatives, fathers, sons and grandfathers, exactly as straws gather together in a moving stream. In a moment the straws are thrown everywhere, and they lose contact. In conditional life, the living entity is temporarily with many other conditioned souls. They gather together as family members, and the material affection is so strong that even after a father or grandfather passes away, one takes pleasure in thinking that they return to the family in different forms. Sometimes this may happen, but in any case the conditioned soul likes to take pleasure in such concocted thoughts.

A temporary arrangement
chapter summary for Srimad-Bhagavatam Canto 6, Chapter 15

Angira Rishi, along with Narada, consoles Chitraketu as far as possible. Angira and Narada Rishi came to relieve the King from excessive lamentation by instructing him about the spiritual significance of life.

The great saints Angira and Narada explained that the relationship between father and son is not factual; it is simply a representation of the illusory energy. The relationship did not exist before, nor will it stay in the future. By the arrangement of time, the relationship exists only in the present. One should not lament for temporary relationships. The entire cosmic manifestation is temporary; although not unreal, it is not factual. By the direction of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, everything created in the material world is transient. By a temporary arrangement, a father begets a child, or a living entity becomes the child of a so-called father. This temporary arrangement is made by the Supreme Lord. Neither the father nor the son exists independently.

As the King listened to the great sages, he was relieved from his false lamentation, and then he inquired about their identity. The great sages presented who they were and instructed that all sufferings are due to the bodily conception of life. When one understands his spiritual identity and surrenders to the Supreme Personality of Godhead, the supreme spiritual person, one becomes actually happy. When one searches for happiness in matter, one must certainly lament for bodily relationships. Self-realization means spiritual realization of one's relationship with Krishna. Such realization ends one's miserable material life.

Each living entity has his own karma purport to Srimad-Bhagavatam 6.15.7

From Bhagavad-gita we understand that there are two energies, namely the superior energy and inferior energy. Inferior energy consists of the five gross and three subtle material elements. The living entity, who represents the superior energy, appears in different types of bodies through these elements by the manipulation or supervision of the material energy. Actually both the material and spiritual energies—matter and spirit—exist eternally as potencies of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. The potent entity is the Supreme Person. Since the spiritual energy, the living being, who is part and parcel of the Supreme Lord, desires to enjoy this material world, the Lord gives him a chance to accept different types of material bodies and enjoy or suffer in different material conditions. Factually, the spiritual energy, the living entity who desires to enjoy material things, is manipulated by the Supreme Lord. The so-called father and mother have nothing to do with the living entity. As a result of his own choice and karma, the living being takes different bodies through the agency of so-called fathers and mothers.

Grief over the loss of a son
excerpt from chapter summary for Srimad-Bhagavatam Canto 6, Chapter 16

The living entity is eternal. Thus he has neither birth nor death (na hanyate hanyamane sharire [Bg. 2.20]). According to the reactions of one's fruitive activities, one takes birth in various species of life among the birds, beasts, trees, human beings, demigods and so on, thus rotating through various bodies. For a certain period of time, one receives a particular type of body as a son or father in a false relationship. All our relationships in this material world with friends, relatives or enemies consist of duality, in which one feels happy and distressed on the basis of illusion. The living entity is actually a spiritual soul who is part and parcel of God and has nothing to do with relationships in the world of duality. Therefore Narada Muni advised Chitraketu not to lament for his so-called dead son.

From one Father and Mother to another
text and purport, Srimad-Bhagavatam Canto 6, Chapter 16, Text 6

Just as gold and other commodities are continually transferred from one place to another in due course of purchase and sale, so the living entity, as a result of his fruitive activities, wanders throughout the entire universe, being injected into various bodies in different species of life by one kind of father after another.

It has already been explained that Chitraketu's son was his enemy in a past life and had now appeared as his son just to give him more severe pain. Indeed, the untimely death of the son caused severe lamentation for the father. One may put forward the argument, "If the King's son was his enemy, how could the King have so much affection for him?" In answer, the example is given that when someone's wealth falls into the hands of his enemy, the money becomes the enemy's friend. Then the enemy can use it for his own purposes. Indeed, he can even use it to harm its previous owner. Therefore the money belongs neither to the one party nor to the other. The money is always money, but in different situations it can be used as an enemy or a friend.

As explained in Bhagavad-gita, it is not by any father or mother that the living entity is given his birth. The living entity is a completely separate identity from the so-called father and mother. By the laws of nature, the living entity is forced to enter the semen of a father and be injected into the womb of the mother. He is not in control of selecting what kind of father he will accept. Prakriteh kriyamanani: [Bg. 3.27] the laws of nature force him to go to different fathers and mothers, just like a consumer commodity that is purchased and sold. Therefore the so-called relationship of father and son is an arrangement of prakriti, or nature. It has no meaning, and therefore it is called illusion.

The same living entity sometimes takes shelter of an animal father and mother and sometimes a human father and mother. Sometimes he accepts a father and mother among the birds, and sometimes he accepts a demigod father and mother. Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu therefore says:

brahmanda bhramite kona bhagyavan jiva
guru-krishna-prasade paya bhakti-lata-bija [Chaitanya-charitamrita Madhya 19.151]

Harassed life after life by the laws of nature, the living entity wanders throughout the entire universe in different planets and different species of life. Somehow or other, if he is fortunate enough, he comes in touch with a devotee who reforms his entire life. Then the living entity goes back home, back to Godhead. Therefore it is said:

janame janame sabe pita mata paya
krishna guru nahi mile baja hari ei

In the transmigration of the soul through different bodies, everyone, in every form of life—be it human, animal, tree or demigod—gets a father and mother. This is not very difficult. The difficulty is to obtain a bona fide spiritual master and Krishna. Therefore the duty of a human being is to capture the opportunity to come in touch with Krishna's representative, the bona fide spiritual master. Under the guidance of the spiritual master, the spiritual father, one can return home, back to Godhead.